You thought I was dead, didn't you?

I know, I know... I suck at life, at keeping in touch, blah blah blah... I figured that since the success of my blog was so major, and many of my friends have started their very own blogs, what's the point of blogging anymore? It's like, who gives a shit about my life anyways, since there's way better reading material out there...

But since I am a creature of self-indulgence, I decided to get back on this blogging horse and ride it harder than ever! (Sexual innuendo implied.)

Since the last time I blogged, so much has happened. Work has been crazy, now that I have TWO jobs! I honestly never thought I would even be able to keep one job, so this is actually a fucking miracle if you ask me... I've still been climbing a lot, but not daily, cuz I suck. I feel it would be almost impossible to actually catch you up on all of the crazy times, so I'll just stick to highlights.

We sent Jeanne off in style (unfortunately) by partying and dancing hard in

the Mission a few weeks back. We went to a few bars, and then headed over to Bruno's. It had been so long since we went there, I wasn't even sure that my line would work to get us in and avoid the cover charge. But it did, cuz I'm a G. We had so much fun. I don't think I've danced that hard in months. DJ Daymitreeus was working, and played me a bunch of Jay-Z jams, because he knows what's up. The night ended at Beauty Bar with more shots and who knows what else... Precious and I headed home all tuckered out from the hard dancing in stilettos.

Then there was the legendary Second Saturday, February edition. Let me tell you, it was insanity. They actually let me, Noah and our friend Danny all behind the bar during the same shift again, for god knows what reason. I met this hot guy with one of my preferred Jew names before the event started. I know, I know, so predictable. We'll call him Pac Heights due to the location of his fabulous apartment. We'll get to how I know about his apartment later...

There were a TON of Redwood High School people at this shindig, so I made rounds and chatted these bitches up while drinking double Stoli-Ras and Sodas. There was actually this girl there who is the younger sister of this terrible girl from my class. She was so much better than her intolerable older sister, I don't understand how they can possibly share DNA. It's always fun to make new friends, especially to spite their older sister who has a serious problem with me. (I don't even know why, but whatever, she's a dumb bitch anyways.)

I was wearing really great shoes, but the problem with doing that is, of course, the inability to run away. Run away is exactly what I should have done when this hot Pac Heights boy started bar-stalking me. I should so know better than to get into a cab with a strange Jew, but he was so hot and smooth-talking... So we went over to Harry's on Fillmore after the Jew night ended. I hid in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, talking to some girls about whether or not it's bad to ditch your friends at an event to leave with a dude. When these Bathroom Hoes saw PH, they were down for the cause. So we slurped down a few drinks, and I agreed to go over to his apartment to have some champagne. You think you know how this story ends, right? Well, if you think it ends with an 8 am walk of shame and mascara running down my face, you would usually be correct, but in this case, you are wrong! Your girl has finally exhibited some form of self-control, even if it was alcohol-induced.

After my second glass of champ, PH decided to make his move. I began to feel guilty about my Greek Climbing God, who is totally obsessed with me, and decided to bolt. Literally. As PH is leaning in for a kiss, I stood up abruptly, grabbed my coat and slid my shoes back on, exclaiming, "I HAVE to go!" He was so stunned it took him a moment to follow me out the apartment door, after which I have very little memory of what happened. I woke up alone in my own bed, but how I got myself home is a total mystery to me. Did I hoof it? Cab it? Hitch-hike? I really have no idea, suffice to say, champagne after several strong cocktails is most likely bad for one's health.

So after all that mess, life continued as usual...

Owen and I went out recently, I think it was the weekend before last. It was a BIG night! Like whoa. We both drank entirely too much before even leaving the house, and then headed over to Polk to get drinks at the new Lush Lounge, which is awesome and beautiful. I ordered us Kamakazi shots and Kettle-Sodas. The drinks were all literally the same size. I have never seen such giant shots in my life. By the time we put those away, I was walking a little crooked. We were totally up to no good, and when we tried to dip into the restroom, some drunk-out-of-control-aggressive dude got crazy with us. He put his hand on me, which is when Owen got all hood and pushed this fool back like 5 feet. The D-O-O-C-A dude proceeded to bang on the door louder than necessary. After that run-in, Owen and I decided it was time for a change of scenery.

We headed to Deco, a nearby gay establishment, and entered just in time to catch the end of a Sex and the City-themed drag show. After the show ended, the bar cleared out a little, but I was on a roll, and decided to keep the party going, even if it meant dancing solo. I think the DJ fell in love (gay love) with me, since I was the only person who didn't stop dancing even when he played some questionable jams. I rallied Owen and we owned that dance floor like whoa. Too bad this DJ didn't have any Diana Ross, cuz really.

This is what I most likely resembled by the time we left Deco (Courtney Love at her very best):

We headed back to the apartment after the bar closed, and I believe we watched some Gossip Girl Season 2 before I passed out in my clothes, as per usual. Several hours later, we got brunch at Q, which was awesome. We proceeded to watch more GG together, which is always a total joy, especially since Owen actually appreciates my commentary, unlike most. We also got Dim Sum and it was a very pleasant day...

Precious and I have also been out a few times lately... Last Friday, we went over to Blue Lights for old time's sake. We have decided to move on from Kettle One to Patron, just for a change of pace. They totally produce different drunks. I'm still a hot mess, don't get me wrong, but there's something truly wonderful about taking tequila shots with your best friend, especially when total strangers pay.

So we had some shots on Union, made the rounds, and decided to go over to the Buckshot. It's always fun there, and we drink for free since the bartender/owner is totally hot for me. True story. We were in a tequila haze, dancing to bad music, taking unnecessary shots, and neither of us remembers the two block walk home, so I'm sure it was a really great night! I know I can't keep stringing this hot, brooding barman along forever, and I'm eventually gonna have to give him some or start paying for drinks. It's not like it would be some kind of tragic situation to hook up with him... I mean, he's seriously hot, and he owns a bar. I think I just made my decision.

Ok, Ok, I do have a confession to make: I totally texted R2D2 on Friday night. Oops! I was doing so well. I even resisted hanging out with him recently, which was totally painful, but once that tequila is deep in my system, I have so little control over my fingers and what they touch on my Blackberry... I really do suck. I know he thinks I'm psycho, based on the tragic series of texts that my hangover and I read on Saturday, I almost think I'm psycho. I'm not though. I'm just eccentric. Really, I am. Anyways, I don't even know why I want him. I have a bunch of hot dudes trying to see me, but as human nature goes, I always want what I can't have...

Precious and I had a really great night on Tuesday also, but I'm gonna save it for the next post, since this is getting insanely long.

I love you all and I'm so sorry that I've been MIA, but I'm back. I promise. Until then, go listen to Lil' Wayne Tha Carter II

You know you love me... xoxo