Whoa. I just got woken up on Thanksgiving morning by a bunch of fucking Mexican dudes yelling and drilling directly outside my window. Kill me. Like really. However, I guess this is as good a time as any to enlighten you. I'll tell you all about my weekend. There were several highlights, including, but not limited to, 1 AM showing of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon," Friday night out with the girls, watching Melrose on TiVo with Owen, drinking, drinking, drinking, Precious' last night at the Blue Light, and Champagne Pong.
Not that you were keeping track or anything, but I was having a serious dry-spell. Like over 2 months since I got laid. That's some shit. Ever since I got dumped in a text by R2D2, I've been a little... Hesitant. My natural friendly demeanor around guys has turned into bigiggity. I do blame this completely on that sexy asshole, whether that's fair or not.
Anyways, I knew that it was of extreme importance to try to actually talk to guys over the weekend. So I did. And I think I did very well, in fact.
One of R2's friends, Alejandro, came to my birthday party with him back in July. There, he met Precious, and, of course, was smitten. But these were the days when Precious was otherwise occupied by "The Afro." Alejandro asked her out a bunch of times, and Precious, true to form, cancelled on him about 37 times before actually going on a date with him, where she realized that not only was he hot, but sweet too.
So, on Friday night, our friend Courtney came into town for the weekend, and we made jell-o shots, ate sushi, and got drunk before heading over to Alejandro's place, where he was having people over. We were also lucky enough to get Marisol to come along. She's another FIDM friend whom I adore, and she's a lot of fun, too. So we arrive at Alejandro's, kinda drunk, with a bottle of champagne and a 4-pack of Sofia's canned champagne. Now, if you've never tried that stuff, I insist that you go out to your nearest BevMo and buy it immediately. It's like a juice box for adults. Genius.
Upon arrival, all of these people are out on his balcony playing frat house beer games and we joined in on the fun. We killed the bottle in about 7 minutes, which is when I noticed this guy totally checking me out, and trying to talk to me. One thing you must know is this: Alejandro knows R2D2 from Stanford, where they were in the same frat, and since most of Alejandro's friends are from college, they are also R2's friends. Great.
I kept my mouth shut on that matter, and talked to this cute, very tall guy, John. He was kind of a close-talker, but I was just drunk enough to not really care. It was getting late, and we wanted to hit up some bars, so the girls headed to the bathroom to discuss strategy. We also had a bathroom photo shoot:
We took off, and I found John on my trail, asking for my number, and wanting to meet up. Sweet. So we headed to Monaghan's on Pierce Street, where Brandon (AKA "Cut My Chicken") was drinking with his friends. By this time, I was totally hammered, and incapable of drinking any more. So, obviously, we had another photo shoot:
After Monaghan's, we went to Silver Cloud to see some crazy kareoke go down. This is where John showed up looking for me. It was drunk-lust as soon as he walked in the bar. We went outside and made out against the side wall of the bar. Hot. After about 10 minutes of that, we decided to take it back to my place, so we hailed a cab and headed home. This guy was great. Great kisser, very smooth, and so I went ahead and broke my dry-spell, thank god. Who knew that he would have the most enormous penis I've ever seen in my life? Like whoa, get that thing out of here large. We did it, and finished after much pain and suffering on my part, but the good kind of pain, you know?
Upon awakening, he tried to do it again, and I was like "absolutely not." I was sore all day. That didn't stop me from having a rock-star day at the gym, though. I was a champion! Killed like 3 very difficult top roping routes with my climbing buddy Russ (who I think has a secret crush on me, though I can't imagine why, since working out isn't the time I look my hottest.) When I got home, Precious was already working her last shift as an employee at Blue Light, and Courtney and I were going to go over there to drink with her for a while. Chris (Jeanne's boyfriend) and Meg and Sean also came over there to hang. We had a great time, and I got another chance to make eyes at that not-so-single bartender. Confidence is my enemy, I swear.
We went back to the house, thinking that there would be a party going on, since it was our roommate's birthday and he said he was throwing a party. There was not however. It seemed that we had missed it, and it was just Sean and a group of his friends hanging out. We took them over to Buckshot to try to salvage the night for them, and played some shuffle-board. I also ordered a drink from the hot bartender there, and he said I could pay him by giving him my number, which I thought I said no to, but apparently I did give it to him. (I'll get back to that later.)
On Sunday, we had a nice day eating and napping and watching movies. It was lovely. It was also nice to call it an early night finally, after a long trip and long weekend.
This, however, was not enough for Precious. She agreed to a double-date with Alejandro for Monday night. I was very hesitant to meet another one of his friends, since I had already slept with 2. It turned out ok, though. We met them over at Buckshot, to stay local, and this guy was Hot. Dr. Michael is getting ready to go to med school, and this sexy bitch was totally into me. We played shuffleboard and then headed over to Alejandro's place to play some champagne pong, which Dr. Michael kept referring to as "Champagne Bob."
By the time we were into our second bottle, we were dancing in the living room, slapping asses, and laughing hysterically about god knows what. We had a great time, and then Dr. Michael made his move. So I made out with him, because he's hot and I liked it. He was kind of aggressive, but also had nice muscular arms, which he utilized by picking me up and throwing me against the wall. Hot. Before I knew it, I was starting to feel a little sick. I knew I had it in me to hold out until I got home, so I told Dr. Michael that I was going to call a cab, and he insisted on driving me home, which was fine with me. The champ I am, I did make it home before vomiting, and then I let go. It was a rough night, followed by a really rough Tuesday at work. Ugh. Such a bad idea, but in a good way, you know?
Back to the sexy Buckshot bartender, He totally called me on Sunday, and I picked up a number I didn't know, which I don't do often, and was totally caught off guard by this guy (Matt?) calling me, since I didn't remember giving him my number. He was really nice, but he sounded nervous, and I definitely stumbled over about half of my words. Whatevs. I really shouldn't be dating bartenders. My god, do I EVER learn ANYthing??
So that's pretty much the weekend for ya. Hope you enjoyed, and please, don't pity me... My dry spell is over, and that R2D2 fucker can suck it.
Happy turkey day! I'm sure the coming weekend will include all kinds of debauchery that you will love to hear about. Xoxo
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